Skin
by heylittlelovely
Summary: "She dreams she's dancing. Around and around, without any cares and her very first true love is holding her close. And for a moment, she isn't scared."


_I was laying in bed and this image of Bella and Edward dancing came into my mind. Then, the song "Skin" by Rascal Flatts played and I knew I had to write out the images in my head. I hope you enjoy this story, as short as it is. It's something that was emotional for me to write...and I hope it touches someone. Quotes go to Rascal Flatts and characters belong to Stephenie Meyer._

* * *

I'm scared to death.

This isn't one of those fears you have where you know there is a chance that you could be wrong; that everything will be okay. I knew deep down what I was going to be told today no matter how many times I was told "it would all be okay."

"Bella, I understand why you are nervous, but I am sure everything is going to be okay. He just wants to take more blood samples," my mom said, squeezing my hands which were tangled together in my lap.

Renee never worried. She was a hippy at heart that lived with her heart on her sleeve and her mind up in the clouds.

"I know mom, it just feels different. These look different than the others," I said as I rubbed my hands across the bruises that invaded my arm.

"Everyone gets bruises, sweetie. You know how clumsy you get."

I looked down at my hands again, the only thing seeming to keep me sane. It was no secret that I was clumsy. My mom always joked that I was born to bump into things.

She would be right about my bruises if these were the only ones. But there are three more on my back and side that haven't disappeared in over two weeks.

I wish Edward was here instead of my mom. He would be close to me, holding my hand and whispering in my ear things he knew would take my mind off of the doctor's office.

But it was out of the question for him to be allowed here. My mom never liked him; his tattoo on his wrist and the piercing in his eyebrow a sign to her that he was a bad person. He must be troubled to have put something permanent on his body. Something so big that he needed a daily reminder.

My mom was right, but it didn't make him a bad person. It made him stronger. It made him remember how far he has come in his life and the person he wants to be.

'The kind of person who gets to love a girl like me,' he says.

I smiled at the memory of that conversation, and for a moment I wasn't scared. I was hopeful; hopeful because of him.

But my hopefulness was interrupted.

"Isabella Swan?" The nurse asked looking at a clipboard in her hands, "The doctor would like to see you now."

I involuntarily took a deep breath and stood up, my mom trailing close behind me.

The nurse, named Angela, led us into a room but not a regular exam room. The room was small and the walls were lined with scholarly books. In front of us were two seats that sat in front of a beautiful desk, covered in papers and more books.

"Dr. Gerandy will be in shortly; make yourself comfortable."

I laughed at her words as she left the room, shutting the door behind her, "I don't think it's possible to be comfortable in this kind of room."

It was the kind of office you saw in movies where the doctor sat with his hands folded in front of him and delivered the bad news.

My phone buzzed in my sweatshirt's pocket and I didn't need to look at it to know who it was from or what it said. I knew it was from Edward asking if I knew anything yet. He was outside, waiting for me to come out; waiting to see my expression; waiting to know; waiting, waiting, waiting.

I was about to pull it out to reply when the door opened and Dr. Gerandy entered, a small stack of folders in his arms.

He shook mine and my mom's hand for the second time today, and the fourth time this week, before sitting down at his desk. He folded his hands in front of him and delivered the news.

It was leukemia; one of the cruelest forms of cancer.

My mom let out a small sob into her hands and I handed her a tissue from the box suddenly placed in front of me; almost as though I was expected to lose it.

But I didn't feel much of anything besides fear. But even that wasn't as intense as I thought it would be. Maybe because deep down I knew all along.

Dr. Gerandy explained that there was just something not right between the red blood cells and the white.

"We're going to take care of you, Isabella. Six chances in ten it won't come back again with the therapy we're going to try. It's just been approved, it's the strongest there is and I think we've caught it in time."

He opened one of the folders he had placed on his desk and started handing us packets of paper with information we would need to read.

I nodded my head in response to all of his comments; my body too numb to do anything else.

x.x.x

I didn't want to walk outside. I didn't want Edward to hurt. Because once Edward hurt, I would hurt. He moves, I move. He hurts, I burn.

"Sweetie, zip your sweatshirt up. You heard the doctor, once you start your medication you will be at high risk of getting sick."

Zipping up my hoodie, I continued walking, my eyes on my mom's back. But I couldn't avoid him anymore. I felt him there; his heart beat not far from mine.

I looked up and there he was, his hands shoved into the back pockets of his dark blue skinny jeans, his famous beanie sitting on his sweater the same color as mine; as though we had planned it.

His eyes were a sad shade of his electric green eyes and I looked back at my mom to give him the reassuring reality of my future.

I got into the car just as I heard his motorcycle take off and I pulled my cell phone out as I buckled my seat belt.

"Can I come over?" I texted him, shoving my phone back into my pocket.

"Bella, let's go to the drugstore now so we can get your medication therapy started."

"Okay," I whispered.

The drive was mostly silent and by the time we got home, it was dark outside and I knew Edward was waiting for me to sneak into his room.

"Can I go to Alice's house?" I asked as my mom was reading the labels on my medication bottles; there were a total of four.

She looked up at me through her glasses, "Don't you want to stay in tonight? Get some rest?"

"I have a feeling I am going to be getting a lot of rest in the next couple of months. I want to go to Alice's."

My mom nodded, "Okay. Tomorrow, we start your meds."

_We._

I didn't understand where _we_ would come into play when I was throwing up from the poison I was about to injecting myself with. There would be no we as my hair started falling out strand by strand.

She had good intentions but I knew I was in this alone; physically at least.

I grabbed my cell phone and slipped it into my back pocket, "I'll be out late, don't wait up," I said kissing her cheek.

"I love you Isabella."

I stopped as I was about to open the back door, "I love you too mom."

When I got to Edwards's house, the lights were out but I knew where he was.

Sure enough, he was sitting on top of his covers, plaid pajama bottoms on and a black tee. My favorite.

He looked up as I entered and was at my side in seconds, his arms wrapping around my sick body. My arms went around him and tightened, needing and wanting to hold on to every inch of him.

He slipped my hoodie off, revealing my white v-neck which was discarded shortly after on top of my sweatshirt; slowing his moments when he hit the bruise on my arm. I breathed his scent in wanting to get the most of him that I could. The smell of cigarettes and just him filled my nose.

I slipped my hands underneath his shirt and lifted it above his head, needing to be skin to skin when we lay down in his bed.

Our pants still on, we got under the covers and his arms surrounded me, pulling me close.

"How long do we have?" He asked the play on words too ironic.

I ran my nose along his chest, "Forever."

His grip tightened, "You're going to get forever, Bella. I know it."

The tears slipped from my eyes before I could stop them; my control weakened and no longer to hold them in.

A part of me knew I was waiting for Edward; the only person I trusted to fall apart to.

"Oh my beautiful girl, I love you, you know that right?" He asked as he slipped further down, bringing his face level to mine; his eyes wet as well.

I nodded and kissed his lightly, just barely touching his lips with mine. It still took my breath away and I snuggled closer as my tears flowing freely now.

With him I knew I was safe. But how long would he be able to save me?

x.x.x

I was scared to death.

I woke up from dreaming of a time when my life didn't revolve around various pills; a time when I could eat without wondering how long it would take for it to come back up; a time when I wasn't scared and all I needed was him and he was holding me close, dancing, the wind blowing through my hair. I was alive in my dreams.

I sat up from my bed and touched my pillow, unable to look at the inevitable that was laying there.

In my hands held a fistful of hair. The cruelest proof of this cancer that there was. I was losing my hair and there was nothing to stop it.

Closing my eyes I pictured myself as I was right now, wanting the image to be engraved into my mind forever.

The prom was coming up and somehow my mom was letting me go with him; as long as I was healthy enough.

As much as I knew Edward loved me, I was scared beyond belief that he would change his mind about me. There was no doubt that I would not have any hair left by the time prom came.

I would have to buy a wig or go bald to my senior prom. Girls always had to worry about their hair for their prom; but they didn't always have to worry about not having any.

According to the doctor, the medicine was doing what it was supposed to and I was on the right track to recovery. But there was always that chance that things wouldn't turn out how doctor's foresaw.

"Are you sure you would want to go to your senior prom with someone who is bald?" I asked, picking at the tape that held the needle down that fed the chemo into my blood. Prom was two days away and that question had been weighing heavily on my mind.

My mom had an appointment with a client this afternoon, the same time as my chemo session, and she couldn't get away. Thankfully, she agreed Edward could come with me.

"I want to take my beautiful, amazing, funny, and kind girlfriend to the prom. Hair or not, you are the only one who fits that description."

Edward made me feel determined to beat this cancer and with him by my side, my hope started to slowly return, every day.

My hair was completely gone at this point and Edward had surprised me with a box of hats, all that he thought would look good on me. He had a thing for hats, beanies especially, and it was a rare occasion that he didn't have one.

He had been amazing throughout this whole thing and I knew I would be lost without him. I wouldn't be as strong; physically or mentally.

The nurse came around to take the needle out and finish the chemo session and my stomach did somersaults like clockwork. Edward grabbed the trash can that sat next to my chair and held it under my chin, his other hand rubbing my back.

"Ugh, I hate that you have to see that."

"I'd trade you places in a heartbeat."

I shook my head and stood up, slowly, "No one should have to go through with this."

"You okay to walk out to the car, baby?" He asked, grabbing my arm to help with balance.

"I'm fine, just tired."

He helped me to the car and drove me to my house, helping me into my bed, lying down next to me.

"Dream beautiful dreams, Bella. I love you."

And soon I was off dreaming of us dancing, carefree, and happy.

x.x.x

"Baby, you look beautiful," my mom said as she helped slip the necklace around my neck.

My eyes fell on my head in the mirror, "Really?"

She turned me to face her, "I've never seen anyone as beautiful as you."

My eyes welled up, "Thanks, mom."

We ordered my dress offline, not being able to make it out to the stores. I got tired too easily and quickly and making a trip out to the dress store would just be a waste of time.

Luckily, my mom and I found a dress we both loved. It was a dark blue dress with strings of crystals crisscrossing at the chest and wrapping around the back, draping across my skin.

Edward hadn't seen it, but I knew he would love it; this color of blue his favorite.

I was finishing putting in my sapphire earrings when the doorbell rang; he's here.

"I'll get it. Come down when you are ready," mom said, hugging me.

When my outfit was complete, I looked at myself again in the mirror. I felt pretty for the first time in months and I couldn't wait to show Edward.

I walked down the stairs, my hand gripping the railing as my balance was still not the same.

Edward stood at the bottom next to my mom, a clear box holding our flowers in his hands. His smile was infectious and I felt myself blush.

"You are stunning, Bella."

I met him with a hug and he kissed the top of my shoulder sending chills down my spine.

"Alright, now I just want a few pictures, so humor me and put on your corsages."

We smiled at my mom and took the boutonniere from Edward, "I'll try not to poke you," I said, holding the flower up to his coat's corner.

He laughed and I noticed then that he had his beanie on. Here was my boyfriend, dressed up in a tux, clean shaven with a beanie on his head. Typical.

"Take your beanie off," I said low, not wanting to get my mom worked up.

He smiled at me and reached up to grab his beanie, his beautiful, copper colored hair expected to fall out, but it didn't.

I heard my mom let out a cry as my own tears formed in my eyes.

Where this morning hair had been, I softly reached up and touched skin.

"God, I love you," I whispered to him.

He was everything to me.

When we arrived to the dance, I learned that Edward had arranged for just the two of us to share a dance together.

We danced to our song and swayed to the music.

"I want you forever, Bella. I want to give you everything."

I pressed my face into his neck, "You already have."

And we danced, around and around without any cares.

And my very first and only true love was holding me close.

And for a moment, I'm not scared.

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PLEASE, go to youtube and watch the music video...it's beautiful. Just search "Skin" by Rascal Flats


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